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How to assess a job, the same way we assess romantic partners

When it comes to jobs, we don't spend nearly as much time evaluating important factors that will also contribute to our overall happiness

The Work Witch
July 31, 2023
How to assess a job the same way we assess romantic partners

There are so many benefits to looking at the relationship between our work life and our home life. We spend most of our lives at work - huge portions of our days and weeks are taken up in a working environment away from home and family/friends. Work also reduces our time for Hobbies and Health, depending on how your working week looks. We know too, that the people we work with - our teams and our boss, can have an enormous impact on our Mental Health.


So why is it that this relationship; the one between US and our JOB; isn't dissected and reviewed a little more closely? We can spend hours at a restaurant with a friend talking about a potential romantic partner - do their values align with ours? What's their long-term vision? Do they want kids/marriage? We want to know exactly what's on the table with this new person, and how they will contribute to our lives.


When it comes to jobs though - we don't spend nearly as much time evaluating important factors that will also contribute to our overall happiness, despite committing to a work relationship that might even outlive our romantic ones! Many of us are in jobs that no longer make us happy, have become detrimental to our health, or are eating away at our Hobbies and time doing fun stuff - living life. Because outside of our Work life, our real life exists, patiently waiting for us to spend some more time with it. And if we don't evaluate potential employers under the guise of whether working for them aligns with our Values, we may end up in a job that ticks the boxes financially but takes away time in the real world too much that it becomes untenable.


And just like in a Romantic partner, we are looking for that great balance of togetherness and being a team - but also being independent and autonomous over our own lives. Ideally, we want a job that challenges us and provides a purpose, that we are engaged in during working hours; but we can also happily and with ease spend time away from doing things that bring us joy. The key here is being able to 'separate with ease'. If you have difficulty leaving work, finishing work or even switching off from work when you are at home – it’s akin to having a romantic partner who can't let you do anything on your own.


At the first point of employment with a new company we want to start assessing the employer in a few different areas to see if they align with the vision for our lives currently, and our values as a person. It's a little bit like a first date; by taking a bit of extra time at the beginning of a job hunt, to work out what we want and what would contribute to our lives in a positive way with work - we avoid potential heartbreak in the future.


Work out what's important to you in a week


Do you have commitments in terms of classes, hobbies, or children and family? Do you need to get to school pick-up? Or do you hit Yoga on Thursday mornings? What you're looking for is your non


negotiables in the week, to you feeling great. If there's something you have to do, that serves as a pillar of your functioning best in the week - it's not something you should sacrifice for a job, ever. Once you have these NN's, they will indicate a way of working that aligns with you best. The person that needs to hit school pick up, may need a Casual or Part Time role. The early riser who goes for a run at 6am, may be absolutely fine with a 9-5pm Full-Time role.


Work out what your Values are


This is a big obtuse challenge, but you'll at least know 1-2 off the top of your head. What are the things that get you fired up in a debate? That you'll fight for, support, and make happen no matter what. This speaks to your personality and what you place emphasis on in this life. If you prioritize special occasions and celebrating loved ones then 'Family' might be a key value. If you have a wellness routine that you stick to including Vitamins and Cold Plunges, then 'Health' might be one of your Values. Then, look at the company you're interviewing for - try to look at where your Values are present in the company's product, service, or overall culture.


Work out what your Future Vision is


No doubt you've always had dreams - things you want to achieve in your lifetime. Experiences you still want to have. Get clear on how your life looks in 5 years’ time. You don't need to look too far ahead but just get a general picture of how you see yourself. If you see yourself owning a home for example, you would assess the company's salary and see whether this will support the budget you need for your dream of owning a house to come true. If you want to travel and visit as many countries as possible, but the company doesn't have a flexible working model or flexible leave programs, this doesn't align with your future vision either. Or, if having a family or even having a side business is in your future vision, you would look for a company that supports hybrid working arrangements.


Work out how you want to feel when you finish work


This is a tricky one. Some will laugh and say 'not shattered', but it's important to recognize that everybody is different in terms of what they gain and expect from a 'hard day's work'. For some, it's all about feeling exhausted yet satisfied, because that means they have worked hard for a successful outcome. A feeling of mild tiredness and a sense of completion is completely normal. For others, they want to feel joyful and for work to 'lift them up' - to finish the day with a sense of gratitude and contribution to the world. How you feel about your job on a Sunday night before you get up Monday to go there, says everything about whether this Relationship is right for you. Make sure the nature of the Job itself (via reviewing the Job Description) aligns with how much energy you want to exert - and therefore how you want to feel at the end of the day.


The old adage goes - you are interviewing the company as well as they are interviewing you. But in practice, this is quite hard for many people to do. Once the wheels are in motion and you're mid-way through the recruitment process it can start to feel hard to exit out if the job isn't right. And it's completely normal to even feel pressure (both financially and conveniently wise) to take the job right in front of you. Certainly, the world is getting more and more expensive, and putting food on the table is King. That's why it’s important to assess the Job we want before we even start looking. Think of it like mental preparation, if we have a roadmap for what we don't want, and what we do want in a Job; and we're clear on our own needs and goals - well we're more likely to find a job that's true love.


By contemplating the answers to these 4 simple pillars we can ensure that when we sign on the dotted line, we are bringing a new relationship into our life that is going to serve and uplift us - contributing to our greater visions in life - just like a romantic partner should!

Editado por

Raquel Rojas

How to assess a job, the same way we assess romantic partners
The Work Witch
WORK/LIFE BALANCE COACH Helping you make Work, actually, work 💅🏻


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